The Express lives up to its reputation as a non-news 'newspaper'
The Daily Express is fond of running miracle cures on its front page. A new pill to cure Alzheimers, a breakthrough on Dementia, Cancer a thing of the past etc.
No doubt these stories are of interest to the paper’s ageing readership.
But today the paper has a genuine scoop:
5 EASY STEPS TO LIVE LONGER
Cut your risk of heart failure by half
Okay, you have our attention. Go on.
“Just five simple rules hold the key to a long life, scientists say.”
Wow, scientists! Tell me more.
“A healthy lifestyle can slash the risk of heart failure by half in those aged over 65.
The golden rules include regular exercise, sensible eating, maintaining a healthy weight, moderate alcohol consumption and not smoking.
“Two decades of research lie behind the dramatic discovery.”
Amazing! A healthy lifestyle is good for your health! Blow me down with a feather. Let’s look at those ‘golden rules’ again:
1. regular exercise
2. eat well
3. don’t be over or under weight
4. don’t drink too much
5. don’t smoke
Who knew!
I’m sure the Express team didn’t hesitate in deciding whether to put this ‘dramatic discovery’ on the front page of its, er, newspaper.
Still, it does seem to contradict the paper’s recent splash claiming chocolate can add years to your life. How confusing!
Adam Barnett is a staff writer at Left Foot Forward. Follow MediaWatch on Twitter
Read more:
Surprise! Daily Express gives five star review to proprietor’s memoirs
Life-saving chocolate and self-love: the Daily Express is not a newspaper
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11 Responses to “Daily Express reveals the secret of living longer: a healthy lifestyle”
Torybushhug
Let us not forget of all those enriching benefits of multi culturalism. Obesity takeaways and offy’s set up my plucky migrants in every poor town in the land for example. Funny how the pious Muslims running them sell alcohol to the heathen. Surely heaven would be closed to such hypocrites?
Jacko
“Look, lumpen proletariat -see how the clever rich try to manipulate you with their lies and schemes! Be thankful there is the perceptive, vigilant Left here to explain it to you. Media Watch -from Left Foot Forward.”
Matthew Blott
I dislike tribalism and have no problem chatting with sensible conservatives but your suggestion that darkies are responsible for our housing crisis tells me you aren’t one of them.
Cole
Yesterday you were counting the number of Jews on BBC programmes. Today, wicked immigrants are blamed for obesity because they set up takeaways (ever heard of KFC or McDonalds?) or for working too hard. Tomorrow, we’ll probably hear that these foreigners are all welfare scroungers. Right wingers are such lovely rational people.
AlanGiles
“the paper’s ageing readership”
Don’t knock it Adam, one day, if you are lucky, you will be old yourself. The alternative is worse