Surprise! Daily Express gives five star review to proprietor’s memoirs

Absurd self-promotion for porn baron Richard Desmond's 'self-deprecating wit' and wisdom


This morning the Daily Express provides us with fresh reason to view it not as a newspaper, but as a parody of how the worst cynic imagines a newspaper to be.

After a week of lavish coverage in the news pages of proprietor and porn baron Richard Desmond’s new memoir, The Real Deal, now comes the review.

Not surprisingly, reviewer Virginia Blackburn is quite keen on the book, if in a sort of detached, press releasey way.

We are told that meeting creative types in his youth “provided the inspiration for him to craft a hugely successful media empire from the showbiz nous he gained in the early days on the music scene.”

It goes on: “He displays a fine line in self-deprecating wit along the way, including a very funny anecdote about the launch of the saucy For Women…”

Can’t wait for that one. What else?

“Richard was also one of the leading figures behind the regeneration of the Docklands, an area which he is planning to spend more time on in the future.”

Something to look out for there.

Then there’s this: “Richard’s first marriage produced son Robert, of whom he is clearly hugely proud, now a software developer and expert on the Holocaust.”

‘Produced’! It must be the sign of a great businessman when even their children can be considered products.

It’s in keeping with a proprietor who used his paper to run press releases for Nigel Farage during UKIP’s ‘now-you-see-him, now-you-don’t’, post-election farce – a practice which naturally had nothing to do with Mr Desmond bankrolling UKIP to the tune of £1million.

In conclusion, Ms Blackburn writes:

“For people who want to build a business empire he advises own as much of the business as you can. For the rest of us, work hard and always keep a sense of humour to hand.”

Such wisdom! And such a clear distinction between businessmen like him and ‘the rest of us’! ‘Work hard’ indeed.

We agree at least about the importance of a sense of humour, especially when reading the Express.

Adam Barnett is a staff writer at Left Foot Forward. Follow MediaWatch on Twitter

Read more: 

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