Surprise! Daily Express gives five star review to proprietor’s memoirs

Absurd self-promotion for porn baron Richard Desmond's 'self-deprecating wit' and wisdom


This morning the Daily Express provides us with fresh reason to view it not as a newspaper, but as a parody of how the worst cynic imagines a newspaper to be.

After a week of lavish coverage in the news pages of proprietor and porn baron Richard Desmond’s new memoir, The Real Deal, now comes the review.

Not surprisingly, reviewer Virginia Blackburn is quite keen on the book, if in a sort of detached, press releasey way.

We are told that meeting creative types in his youth “provided the inspiration for him to craft a hugely successful media empire from the showbiz nous he gained in the early days on the music scene.”

It goes on: “He displays a fine line in self-deprecating wit along the way, including a very funny anecdote about the launch of the saucy For Women…”

Can’t wait for that one. What else?

“Richard was also one of the leading figures behind the regeneration of the Docklands, an area which he is planning to spend more time on in the future.”

Something to look out for there.

Then there’s this: “Richard’s first marriage produced son Robert, of whom he is clearly hugely proud, now a software developer and expert on the Holocaust.”

‘Produced’! It must be the sign of a great businessman when even their children can be considered products.

It’s in keeping with a proprietor who used his paper to run press releases for Nigel Farage during UKIP’s ‘now-you-see-him, now-you-don’t’, post-election farce – a practice which naturally had nothing to do with Mr Desmond bankrolling UKIP to the tune of £1million.

In conclusion, Ms Blackburn writes:

“For people who want to build a business empire he advises own as much of the business as you can. For the rest of us, work hard and always keep a sense of humour to hand.”

Such wisdom! And such a clear distinction between businessmen like him and ‘the rest of us’! ‘Work hard’ indeed.

We agree at least about the importance of a sense of humour, especially when reading the Express.

Adam Barnett is a staff writer at Left Foot Forward. Follow MediaWatch on Twitter

Read more: 

Does the Daily Express believe in alien abductions?

Life-saving chocolate and self-love: the Daily Express is not a newspaper

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8 Responses to “Surprise! Daily Express gives five star review to proprietor’s memoirs”

  1. Torybushhug

    Today the centre-right bloc has won the Danish general election.

    Danish voters have ousted the centre-left government, and have today voted for an opposition in which the anti-immigration Danish People’s Party has emerged as the biggest force.

    The Danish People’s Party almost doubled its backing since the previous election in 2011, after promising Danes tougher immigration laws.

    The Danish UKIP is also sceptical toward Denmark’s membership in the European Union and has argued in favour of border controls.

    As I’ve said before, the left is longer a conduit for the peoples resentment, the left is the detached uninterested pious establishment, deaf to the people.

  2. SeeToBelieve

    Immigration issue. However immigrants have been used as a scapegoat for the bankers.

    Ban immigration. And or oppose that narrative. People are so prejudice now that banning immigration may need to happen, just to calm stuff down and remove that argument. But they’ll just scapegoat the poor, people on benefits etc… while taking all the taxes, giving it to their mates and ideologically cutting the welfare state.

    What you call “the left” isn’t really left at all. Neo-liberals with bland “keep the peace social policy” and reluctance to deal with “the bankers” and the “tax havens” are not leftist at all. They’re corporatists.

    We’ll ban immigration before we’d ban tax havens… says a lot. Corporations disappearing with billions from our economy is not even an issue if you seen the news.

  3. GhostofJimMorisson

    ‘Immigration issue. However immigrants have been used as a scapegoat for the bankers’.

    One of these days people like you will actually start thinking for yourselves, rather than regurgitating hackneyed champagne socialist mantras which lost Ed Miliband and Labour the election. No one is ‘blaming’ immigrants for the excesses of the bankers. People are shocked and alarmed at the scale of immigration over the past 10-15, unprecedented in the history of this small, largely homogenous island. Moreover, no one is suggesting banning immigration. UKIP advocate an Aussie points based system, which many people would like to see.

  4. JohnGBolin


  5. KarenDWingo

    All time hit leftfootforward Find Here

  6. Cole

    Really big win : the right wing got 90 seats, the left 89. And the Social Democrats are the largest party and increased their vote. It’s not clear the UKIP types want to be in government. They may just whine from the sidelines. Probably a good strategy as they’d lose most of their votes in they actually had to run a government….

  7. Torybushhug

    Another lefty establishment myth crumbles. Standard lefty populist rhetoric asserts immigration is vital for prosperity.

    By any definition Japan is a prosperous nation even despite thier propensity to save which can drag growth, but in any event we should not be arguing for boundless unending growth.
    Japan has had a tiny level of immigration and guess what, the elderly still get thier pensions, honestly it’s a miracle isn’t it…

  8. Cole

    What’s this rubbish got to do with the Daily Express?

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