And don’t come back

After describing Britain as "mosque-drenched", progressives don't need persuading. Jeremy Clarkson should follow his own advice and leave Britain.

Progressives don’t need persuading. Jeremy Clarkson should follow his own advice and leave the country.

After describing Britain as “mosque-drenched” and denouncing Albanians for taking university places and stealing wheelbarrows in his Sunday Times column yesterday, Jeremy Clarkson went on an extraordinary diatribe about his emigration options:

“You can’t go to France because you need to complete 17 forms in triplicate every time you want to build a greenhouse, and you can’t go to Switzerland because you will be reported to your neighbours by the police and subsequently shot in the head if you don’t sweep your lawn properly, and you can’t go to Italy because you’ll soon tire of waking up in the morning to find a horse’s head in your bed because you forgot to give a man called Don a bundle of used notes for “organising” a plumber.

“You can’t go to Australia because it’s full of things that will eat you, you can’t go to New Zealand because they don’t accept anyone who is more than 40 and you can’t go to Monte Carlo because they don’t accept anyone who has less than 40 mill. And you can’t go to Spain because you’re not called Del and you weren’t involved in the Walthamstow blag. And you can’t go to Germany … because you just can’t.

Do we have to go on? Oh alright then:

“The Caribbean sounds tempting, but there is no work, which means that one day, whether you like it or not, you’ll end up like all the other expats, with a nose like a burst beetroot, wondering if it’s okay to have a small sharpener at 10 in the morning. And, as I keep explaining to my daughter, we can’t go to America because if you catch a cold over there, the health system is designed in such a way that you end up without a house. Or dead.

“Canada’s full of people pretending to be French, South Africa’s too risky, Russia’s worse and everywhere else is too full of snow, too full of flies or too full of people who want to cut your head off on the internet.”

Frankly, Jeremy, we don’t care where you end up so long as you leave and do so quickly.

26 Responses to “And don’t come back”

  1. Caroline Not Happy

    Why can’t Clarkson say “Mosque Drenched” when he believes it to be true?

    Have a look at your Dads constituency Will.

    Who asked the folk living there if they wanted Mosques in their communities and all that follows – burkhas, woman treated unequally, homosexuals threatened with death, female genital mutilation, “honor” killings, forced marriage …etc etc

    Just because you don’t see these things in the worlds you live of Kensington dinner parties and with jobs like Media Outreach Coordinators it doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

    I’m a feminist which is why I really dislike a religion whose translation is “Submission” and one that treats woman so appallingly and one it seems that isn’t criticised by Harriet Harman, Polly Toynbee etc

    But judging by your new policy of censorship on this blog (how New Labour) this is unlikely to be printed as well..

  2. Avatar photo

    willstraw

    Caroline, Anon – there is no policy of censorship, anyone can leave a comment, we do not pre-moderate. But we do have a comments policy, which Billy the Kid breached by accusing another commenter of being a liar. You can read our comments policy here: https://www.leftfootforward.org/about/

    We want this to be a space where progressives can come and debate the issues that they care about without being insulted. Simple as that.

    Caroline – Clarkson can say what he likes. So can you and so can I. I rarely go to Kensington but I do go to Blackburn frequently and still live in Lambeth where I was born and grew up. Multiculturalism is a complicated issue but describing Britain as “mosque-drenched” is about as unhelpful as it gets.

    Anon – Sorry you think this is a “controlled space new Labour love in”. I’m not sure how that is consistent with our articles in recent weeks supporting Professor Nutt, supporting Vince Cable’s mansion tax, attacking Trident, questioning nuclear power, challenging Heathrow terminal 3, and so on. And looking at yesterday’s content, there wasn’t a single article about Labour policy. In fact going back to last week, there are only four articles about Labour or Government Ministers.

    And for those who couldn’t open the link to Clarkson’s original article, try this: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/jeremy_clarkson/article6907747.ece

  3. Anon E Mouse

    Will, the reason there hasn’t been any Government Policy on your blog is because there isn’t any Government Policy.

    Vince Cable got it right when he said Parliament may as well stay at home – there is genuinely nothing to do except wait for Labour’s certain defeat at the hands of the electorate.

    I know Billy (same office block) and I simply do not believe he called another commenter a liar – he’s (rightly) angry about the disgraceful way this fag end government is behaving but believe me people absolutely DETEST Brown and Co.

    In our workplace only one person has ever voted Tory (it’s a strong Labour area) and next time round they probably won’t vote Tory but they also are ADAMANT they are not going to vote Labour either – with a passion.

    Forget peoples opinion of Thatcher – round here Brown is HATED by the plumbers, sparks and chippies and they will cause the complete collapse of the Labour vote at the election.

    Governments lose elections it’s true and in this ones case rightly so but all your so called “progressives” will also carry a burden of responsibility for not standing up for core Labour values.

    ID cards? Iraq? 42 days? 10p tax?

    What were you guys thinking for 12 years?

  4. Anon E Mouse

    And finally Liz McShane says she hopes Clarkson’s program goes to the wall – no chance it regularly gets 8 million viewers plus and sells worldwide.

    Liz and her out dated backward opinions are (fortunately) in a minority.

  5. Avatar photo

    willstraw

    Anon,

    Thanks for engaging. I’d be happy to rerun any comment from Billy that didn’t insult another commenter. Your comment above is, to my mind, a good example of taking on another commenter in a way that is not insulting.

    I understand that this government, any government in power for 12 years is likely to anger people. I am certainly no apologist for the many things it has done that I have disagreed with (although I do think there are a number of other things to feel proud of – please indulge me if I don’t right now back this up with a list).

    But, all that said, I want Left Foot Forward to be a space where commenters are respectful of each other even as they criticise politicians and other public figures. Making editorial judgments will always be subjective but I felt that Billy crossed a line. But I welcome you both to continue challenging LFF’s writers and readers.

    Best wishes,

    Will

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