Dear Sajid Javid: Here’s a draft ‘oath of allegiance’ to British values

Would the Tories have public office holders swear to this?

 

“We can’t expect new arrivals to embrace British values if those of us who are already here don’t do so, and such an oath would go a long way towards making that happen.” – Sajid Javid, Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government, December 18, The Sunday Times

 

An Oath of Allegiance to British Values (Draft – subject to SJ approval)

I, [name], do solemnly, sincerely and truly affirm and declare that, on becoming a holder of public office, I will be faithful and bear true allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, her heirs, and successors, according to law.

I swear to uphold my allegiance to British Values, as defined by the government of the day, which just happens to be run by Tories, who I like better than the other lot anyway. In affirming these values, based on the example of said Tories, I do solemnly swear;

  • to safeguard the rights and welfare of minorities by appointing a few of them to high office while adopting policies which disproportionately hurt members of said minority groups;
  • to protect the economic and social security of all British People by cutting their benefits and public services during a recession and then blaming the results on the European Union and immigrants;
  • to respect the national identity and devolved autonomy of the people of Scotland and then use the threat of Scottish rule to frighten people during a general election;
  • to further the rights of women and sexual equality by removing any obstacles such as a leadership contest or general election to one woman becoming Tory Prime Minister;
  • to defend the freedom of speech and privacy of every individual by monitoring their emails and phonecalls to ensure no-one is violating that privacy or saying anything naughty;
  • to protect the most vulnerable in society by checking they are not being ripped off by shirkers pretending to be disabled;
  • to build a more just society where no-one has to go abroad to stash their money at ridiculously low rates of taxation;
  • to uphold the freedom of the press by ensuring no press baron has to compete with a public broadcaster run by a bunch of North London communists;
  • to defend the founding principles of the National Health Service by messing around with it after promising not to, starting a fight with its future doctors, cracking down on its source of nurses and giving it just enough money not to collapse;
  • to support greater equality by ensuring every child has the opportunity to live near a selective school that saps talent and resources from their own while tax breaks help educate their future bosses and MPs at elite private ones;
  • to nurture aspiration by crushing the best vehicle for working people to organise and bargain collectively for better pay and conditions;
  • to conduct an ethical foreign policy based on the rule of trade and whatever makes the Saudis, Russians and Americans answer the phone;
  • to defend the interests of this country by gambling our future on a referendum for electoral purposes and resigning when it all goes horribly wrong;
  • to ensure poverty wages and second homelessness do not drive a desperate member of parliament into another profession before they’ve arranged for a lucrative consultancy;

[etc.]

Adam Barnett is staff writer for Left Foot Forward. Follow him on Twitter @AdamBarnett13 

See: David Davis admits Brexit plan isn’t ready. So why the urgency on Article 50?

4 Responses to “Dear Sajid Javid: Here’s a draft ‘oath of allegiance’ to British values”

  1. David Lindsay

    New oath. Same old cuts. It is as if the Blair Government never went away. When this kind of thing used to exist in Northern Ireland, then you could tell the Nationalists, whom it was supposed to keep out, by the fact that they affirmed rather than swearing, thereby not imperilling their souls.

    Moreover, what, exactly, are these “British values”? Their definition by this or that Government of the day would effectively exclude anyone who happened not to be a political supporter of whatever was the governing party and faction at the given time. Again, it is as if the Blair Government never went away.

  2. ted francis

    How more incredibly naive can this lot be? Do they actually believe that, to a dedicated, fanatical terrorist zealot bent on murder and mayhem, swearing an oath of allegiance to a foreign and alien establishment is going to act a some kind of miraculous Damascene conversion?
    Are they so cynical that they believe the British (non-terrorist) public will accept that this is going to act as a kind of Herculean shield to protect us all from the people who wish us fatal ill?
    Can you imagine a terrorist saying, “I’d better not try to blow up that marketplace or take my Kalishnikov into some church or synagogue or convert some 18 year-old kid to go out and devastate a school or college building and everyone in it by blowing himself up. No I’d better not do that because I affirmed I wouldn’t…” And a suicide bomber, is he going to give up all those virgins and the flowing milk and honey because Queen Elizabeth 2 will be disappointed in him?
    Oh come on Sajid Javid, grow up and get out a bit more!

  3. ted francis

    Incidentally, I love the Oath as above, now that’s really something to take…..seriously? I know a few who would!

  4. BarryE

    The values (British? universal?) I hold dearest were gained at great expense by people such as the Levellers, the Diggers, the Tolpuddle Martyrs, the Chartists and the Suffragettes. All were championed in the face of unremitting hostility from the government of the day.

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