And don’t come back

After describing Britain as "mosque-drenched", progressives don't need persuading. Jeremy Clarkson should follow his own advice and leave Britain.

Progressives don’t need persuading. Jeremy Clarkson should follow his own advice and leave the country.

After describing Britain as “mosque-drenched” and denouncing Albanians for taking university places and stealing wheelbarrows in his Sunday Times column yesterday, Jeremy Clarkson went on an extraordinary diatribe about his emigration options:

“You can’t go to France because you need to complete 17 forms in triplicate every time you want to build a greenhouse, and you can’t go to Switzerland because you will be reported to your neighbours by the police and subsequently shot in the head if you don’t sweep your lawn properly, and you can’t go to Italy because you’ll soon tire of waking up in the morning to find a horse’s head in your bed because you forgot to give a man called Don a bundle of used notes for “organising” a plumber.

“You can’t go to Australia because it’s full of things that will eat you, you can’t go to New Zealand because they don’t accept anyone who is more than 40 and you can’t go to Monte Carlo because they don’t accept anyone who has less than 40 mill. And you can’t go to Spain because you’re not called Del and you weren’t involved in the Walthamstow blag. And you can’t go to Germany … because you just can’t.

Do we have to go on? Oh alright then:

“The Caribbean sounds tempting, but there is no work, which means that one day, whether you like it or not, you’ll end up like all the other expats, with a nose like a burst beetroot, wondering if it’s okay to have a small sharpener at 10 in the morning. And, as I keep explaining to my daughter, we can’t go to America because if you catch a cold over there, the health system is designed in such a way that you end up without a house. Or dead.

“Canada’s full of people pretending to be French, South Africa’s too risky, Russia’s worse and everywhere else is too full of snow, too full of flies or too full of people who want to cut your head off on the internet.”

Frankly, Jeremy, we don’t care where you end up so long as you leave and do so quickly.

26 Responses to “And don’t come back”

  1. Liz McShane

    Anon…. I actually feel very connected and privileged to live in a multi-cultural city that respects diversity (sexual, ethnicity etc) of others. Nick Griffin’s vision of an all white, ‘ethnically’??? British country is perverse if not laughable.

    Yes he should not be censored, indeed he should be grilled ad nauseum on his racist and divisive views – even when he got a bit of a soft ride on QT he floundered. A lot of the votes received in the Euro elections were anti-Labour rather than a vote in favour of the BNP and their policies.

  2. Anon E Mouse

    Liz, you are mistaking common good manners and a respect for others that is ingrained in the majority of decent people worldwide with laws on “Political Correctness” used to force the views and opinions of others on everybody.

    I know of no one who would judge another by the colour of their skin or sexuality or whatever but if they decide they want to do that, they should, in a free society, be allowed to.

    When Catholic Adoption agencies decide they do not want children to be adopted by homosexual couples that should be their right.

    Why does Harriet Harman believe she knows better than those agencies? How can she bang on about the poor in her position of great wealth and privilege or complain about women being artificially promoted in jobs because of their sex and not their abilities? Especially since she’s trying to *fix* a safe Labour seat for her own husband, Jack Dromey.

    Freedom of expression can’t be forced – look at the Soviet Union and Cuba – but when the very tolerant fabric of our society is threatened by the actions of a stupid incompetent, government(If Labour represented the people properly the BNP wouldn’t have got those votes) then someone has to say something.

    Finally Liz does this “connection” you feel wrt ethnicity extend to not condemning the actions ‘Caroline Not Happy’ finds so disagreeable – “burkhas, woman treated unequally, homosexuals threatened with death, female genital mutilation, “honor” killings, forced marriage …etc etc” or do you just pay lip service and just gloss over and ignore the point?

  3. Gaps in the Dialogue

    Comments like those of Clarkson are annoying, but he is only relaying thoughts of large sections of the population – otherwise he wouldn’t be so successful. Even more dispiriting was Matt Fry’s casual reminder of an old anti-German joke (comparing German reunification with The Beatles reforming – and “lets hope they don’t go on another world tour”) on BBC news. These two public figures are perhaps not to blame because they reflect wider held attitudes but it is not surprising that Eurosceptism and Nationalist politics is so pervasive at the moment with the prevalence of casual references to them in the media.

  4. Anon E Mouse

    Nationalist politics are the same as they’ve always been. It’s why the French protect their culture so well. It’s why the European Cup works. Who cares? All jokes are anti something or someone but who cares?

    Clarkson is funny. That’s why he’s successful. He won’t stop what he does and why should he? Ignore him.

    Compared to pompous middle class humour, such as the Now Show on Radio 4 (why do they keep recommissioning that crap – who does it?), he is positively hilarious.

    Most people ignore Gordon Brown and although he won’t go away until six months from now (mercifully) there is always an OFF button on your TV.

    “Gaps In The Dialogue” is a great name mind 🙂

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