Scariest paper says take a chill pill
Today’s front page reads:
How to stop your WORRIES keeping you awake at night
One week insomnia cure
Why might Daily Mail readers be so worried they can’t sleep?
Sticking to the ‘one week’ formula, here are some recent Daily Mail headlines. From yesterday’s front page:
MURDERER WHO GOT AWAY
Town Halls plan 5 per cent rises to pay for social care… AND we’ll pay more for parking, school meals and even burials.
COUNCIL TAX BILLS TO LEAP
Mmm. Feeling relaxed yet?
As social care crisis here leaves woman of 89 stranded on ward for SIX months…
YOUR AID MILLIONS TO HELP ELDERLY IN CHINA
‘China’ there to be read in the soothing tones of Donald Trump, (‘CHAye-Nah’).
So to today’s
PLASTIC BOTTLE BETRAYAL
This is the paper that warned ‘foreign truckers’ are coming to run you over, that blood transfusions can give you Alzheimer’s, that IVF might give you cancer, and that migrants might be hiding in your car.
Or, in my personal favourite, said:
You can’t switch them off. They’re packed with inflammable insulation that can give off toxic gas. Meet the most dangerous appliance of all…
Could your fridge burn your house down?
Maybe instead of a pill, Mail readers could just read something less terrifying? A Stephen King novel, perhaps.
Adam Barnett is staff writer for Left Foot Forward. Follow him on Twitter @AdamBarnett13
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